So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
