I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
