i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
