he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
