Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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