Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
