thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
