So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize