8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
