Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
