I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she peed on how many people?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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