i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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