all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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