dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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