STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
