A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
