break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
