All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
