honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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