508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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