chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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