my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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