Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
