new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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