Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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