Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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