Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
