508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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