Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
