this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
