Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
