maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
