i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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