I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He did a backflip because drugs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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