IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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