Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
