If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
