Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
