Plan B is the new Plan A
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
