Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
