saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
