Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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