New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
