Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize