Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
