THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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