I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you win again, gameday.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
