It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
