You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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