Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
