dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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