The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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