everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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