Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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