We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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