And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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